


That Which Binds Us

by Nikoshinigami



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:03:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7555825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikoshinigami/pseuds/Nikoshinigami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through the Earthen Historia, Sorey has found his answer and his resolution to see it through. It's a shame, however, that it's not just the blood of Heldalf his hands must be able to wash clean. Does he have the resolve to carry the burden of taking an innocent life as well? Do the needs of the many out weigh the needs of a few when success in one act may bring an even stronger malevolence in its wake? Sorey doesn't know. No one does. And no one can hope to help him.</p><p>Canon divergent AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Human sacrifices were abhorrent things. That there existed a set of beliefs that caused people to end their lives as a gift to the gods and seraphim was so outlandish and unconscionable that it defied Sorey's ability to comprehend. Only something evil would ask for a life in return for a blessing. Only something malevolent and cruel would force another being to murderer their own self as retribution for something that had no equivalent value. How could people not see that? How could they not understand their own worth? It hurt Sorey's heart to consider the depths of desperation someone would have to have fallen to see sacrifice as a necessity. The seraphim had no care or use for the offered lives of human beings. The deaths were meaningless. They only spurred on the growth of malevolence. They did infinite harm and not even a fleeting second of good. It just didn't make sense, and yet certain temples proved its practice. Sorey hurt for a world that hurt so much if had forgotten to love itself.

There was a large difference between sacrificing oneself and sacrificing another, though. If the former left Sorey heartbroken, the latter cut him to his core.

He couldn't see the baby but he could see in Michael's reaction that something wasn't right. Was it a hellion? Was it disfigured and burned? It was Mikleo but Sorey couldn't even begin to put that into perspective just yet as he watched the Earthen Historia tell its tale of the dawn of the Age of Chaos. Something in Sorey's chest opened up and fell to unknown depths as Michael turned towards the alter, Muse's cries echoing without need to confirm that they both knew what the distraught Shepherd was going to do. Sorey knew because the Mikleo he knew wasn't a human. He knew, at some point, he was going to witness his death--had at first thought the flames had been his demise--and that the only reason the man before him would approach an alter rather than hurry to safety was to use it for some purpose of which the outcome seemed only too certain.

He didn't want to watch. He had to watch. He'd collected all the Earthen Historia at Mayvin's urging for just this moment, so that he would know what had happened and why they were in the situation they faced now. This was the last piece of the puzzle. He didn't want to see Michael lay the baby down on an alter warmed by the flames around them. He didn't want to see the dagger raised high. Mikleo was watching though. Mikleo was standing right beside him, unmoving with wide violet eyes and his mouth held slightly agape as he took a deep breath and held it. Sorey didn't want to watch his friend be murdered but his friend was there beside him, watching it happen to himself. Sorey owed it to all of them as the Shepherd to witness the events of the past but more than that he owed it to his best friend to not look away from the sight he knew defined more than just their answer going forth. The dagger came down and Sorey could not keep himself from flinching in sympathy. The baby didn't cry. As much as was going on, it was the lack of crying from the alter that made Sorey's blood run cold. The dagger struck true and the hellion Maotelus followed through with the Shepherd's demand. The scene changed but with every shutter of Sorey's eyes he felt he could still see the dagger stuck firm in the silent, swaddled flesh.

Sorey was still reeling from the horror of it by the time he saw Zenrus come into the story. He didn't need to see proof of Michael's curse--they lived with its repercussions--but to see his Gramps and even the now gone Maisen come into Camlann was just the hope he needed to see to recover from the shock before. He saw his own tiny body and that or his dead mother but was numb to all new information by now. Most of it was things he already knew but never questioned their origin. This was simply the story of how Zenrus adopted him and seraph Mikleo. This was the part where things got better. This was where his own story began.

And then it was over. 

Whether they had truly left Lohgrin or not, it felt as though they had returned from a long journey. Sorey felt weary down to his bones even as his mind seemed to come into sharper focus. He knew his answer but he also knew much more than that now. He never thought... he could have never conceived of the events he'd just witnessed or guessed at how they involved the life of his dearest friend. Mikleo looked contemplative if not softly melancholy. And resolute--always resolute. They'd asked to know and now they did. He wasn't going to allow himself to be sidetracked by personal details. And if he wasn't, neither was Sorey.

Mikleo was always a source of strength for him, whether encouraged directly or out of spite. He was always good for seeing things in perspective. They'd talk later. Maybe. If they ever got a moment alone. But as for their duty as Shepherd and Sub-Lord, they were going to be okay to carry on.

Sorey felt prepared to speak with Mayvin. He felt good about his answer, even if he wasn't sure it was much of one. He was going to save Heldalf, though. In the only way he could be saved. Because in the end, the only way to realize his and Mikleo's dream would be to ensure humans were treated the same as seraphim. They all deserved to be saved from malevolence. No one deserved to be turned into a monster.

"Can you carry that burden with you?" Lilah asked, knowing Sorey only too well. He'd never killed before--not anything above the level of food. But he felt in his heart that, if it meant salvation, it wouldn't feel like a burden at all.

Mayvin shook his head, his tone still that of a man speaking to tiny children. "Killing Heldalf isn't a simple matter of ending one man's life in order to save it. What was granted by sacrifice must be reclaimed by sacrifice."

"Whatever it takes, I'll do it," Sorey promised. "I will stand by my answer."

"Is that so?" the Storyteller asked. "In that case, you won't hesitate to prove it." With a sweeping motion, he gestured past Sorey, his finger pointing to just beyond his left shoulder. Sorey looked to find Mikleo standing there, his eyes curious at being singled out. 

"Kill him," Mayvin ordered.

Sorey had no idea what was going on anymore. "What? No!" he all but shouted, instinctively moving to stand in front of him. "I'm not going to prove I can accept the responsibility of killing Heldalf by senselessly murdering a friend!"

"Yeah!" Rose chimed in with indignity.

The others were quiet, though. 

Mayvin sighed, shaking his head. "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked, looking angry at Sorey's continued ignorance. "Seraphim care nothing for human sacrifice and yet you witnessed Heldalf's transformation as a result of one. Are you implying a Shepard's wrath alone, fueled by murder, is enough to bind the hellion Maotelus to an unfit vessel and grant it immortality?"

Sorey stood silent, not sure what he believed. He knew what he saw and he knew the results but as for the how... It wasn't something anyone ever explained. It wasn't something he could remember from any of his readings of the many histories and lore books he'd grown up on.

"And whom do you think made the boy a seraph? It wasn't Zenrus and Maotelus was already a hellion. What gave the boy new life?"

He didn't like where this was going. He was afraid of where these words were leading.

"Mayvin...," Lilah started, no further words following, though, as she simply hung her head.

"It's a cruel world and I've no time to see that stories are buffered in sweet words and platitudes," Mayvin explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "Good things don't come from evil actions. Being a vessel for Maotelus isn't enough to gain immortality. Heldalf's spirit is tied to that of another immortal's. Something made immortal for the specific purpose of ensuring the curse would be fulfilled."

Sorey shook his head, the feather settings at his ears clicking against the clasps.

"Maotelus would not be swayed by a simple, meaningless sacrifice. Shepherd Michael gave his curse seraphim form which served to bridge the two entities. If you want to kill Heldalf and find the means to purify Maotelus, that bond must be severed. The spirit that binds them must be released."

Mikleo's spirit. 

Sorey continued to shake his head, words caught deep inside his gut and too startled to even try to arise.

"As long as I'm alive... Sorey can't achieve his answer," Mikleo summarized quietly, his voice adding shivers down Sorey's back.

Mayvin nodded. "And the Age of Chaos never ends. But a Shepherd who cannot bear that burden cannot purify Maotelus and through him the land itself. So tell me, Shepherd Sorey: are you the one who will realize our hopes?"

Sorey didn't have an answer for that. He didn't have an answer at all. All he had was a sick, hollow feeling that questioned why they'd ever left Elysia at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to say whether this story has major character death in it or not. Sort of breaks the tension if you know how it all ends.


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of Rose unsheathing a short sword was the first thing to make sense to Sorey. He knew her intent immediately, his actions instinctual as he grabbed at her arm, squeezing hard against her bicep as his own muscles trembled with fear. " _No_ ," he insisted, his pulse racing in his head. "You can't-- _no one is going to_ -"

"Ouch! Sorey, you're hurting me," she complained with a wince.

He didn't care. He wasn't going to let her go without a promise. "No one draws a weapon in this group with the intent to harm a friend, do you got that?"

Rose scowled at him, her expression grave. This was the assassin coming through. "Sorey," she began, her hand still noticeably gripping the handle of her blade. "You heard Mayvin. And I know you can do what you must to save Heldalf, but there is no way in hell I'm going to stand by and watch you kill Mikleo. You won't be able to bear the weight of that. I can."

Sorey shook his head, eyes darting to the other seraph for help with the world suddenly having gone mad. Lilah wouldn't look at him. Edna was hidden behind her umbrella. Zaveid at least met his gaze but his eyes spoke of shared heartache and a tired acceptance of things now to be done. They had their answer too, one which begged for the Age of Chaos to end, for the malevolence to stop corrupting their friends and loved ones, no matter the personal cost. They were willing to sacrifice anything to that end, their own lives included. Murder could be just. Death could be salvation. But none of that mattered when it came to this. There was nothing wrong with Mikleo. He didn't ask for any of this.

To their credit, neither had Heldalf.

Sorey let go of Rose only to move closer to his childhood friend. He held both arms out, placing himself as human shield, unwilling to budge from where he stood. "I won't let you," he cautioned, looking once more to Mayvin for guidance which might offer some other recourse.

The old man looked disgusted. He sighed with bitterness and contempt. "And the Age of Chaos continues. Sorry, Lailah. I know you did your best."

"There has to be another way," Sorey insisted.

Mayvin didn't care to listen to him anymore. His were the cries of a spoiled child not willing to accept the truth and searching only for the solace of lies. He took a seat against rubble and rubbed at his facial hair. He looked older somehow. Age came with disappointment.

That was it then. Sorey had failed. They'd come all this way for naught.

He was glad his friends weren't looking at him. It was hard enough to see what his failure looked like in Mayvin's eyes--a man he hardly knew. To see it in theirs now could only hurt more knowing the salve for such wounds was an act unthinkable.

"To be fair, Mayvin," Lailah quietly spoke, "you can't expect the Shepherd to so quickly accept and act on these things. We'd journeyed a long time before Sorey learned to accept death as more than a punishment, accident or eventuality. We're only here now because he's grown as both a person and as a Shepard. You ask too much to insist he act on this new information without the time given to process it. It would surely lead to malevolence if he did."

Mayvin made a noncommittal grunt, his consideration for her words implied in his responding at all. "And what about you, Mikleo?" Mayvin asked, his attention bypassing Sorey without pause. "You got anything to say?"

"...I won't be a liability," he heard the seraph echo with words that once held other meaning.

Sorey turned around so fast his friend was nothing more than a teal blur his arms could reach out and hold tight to. "Don't say things like that. Not right now," he insisted, part of him wounded even further by the fact that even Mikleo averted his gaze. 

He could hear Mayvin scoff behind them as he let out a heavy sigh. "If you accept your fate at least, there may still be hope. Given time," he said, the sound of falling pebbles as evidence as he shifted against the rubble. "This world doesn't have the luxury of waiting long, though."

"We'll need to find another water seraph to replace him with anyway," Zavied said, interjecting himself into the conversation. "The team needs a full roster. Wouldn't make any sense to lose Mickey-boy now when there's no one to take his place. We've got plenty of time for Sorey to process this while we work towards that end." 

"Zavied's right," Lilah agreed.

Edna remained silent.

Sorey had never felt more lost. 

Mikleo's hands gently wrapped along the outstretched arms grasping him, his eyes at last turning towards Sorey where their soulful depths could sooth him. They didn't need words in most situations to communicate their intentions. It was as clear to Sorey what Mikleo meant by his quiet acceptance as Sorey's desperation was to Mikleo. Neither wanted to do anything that would cause the other pain. The idea of it caused a dissonance that hurt almost more than anything else ever had or could. They were made, on an instinctive level, to support each other to the fullest. This hurt. There had never been a situation before which pitted them so against each other and yet still, inexplicably, on the same side. It hurt. It hurt like combat wounds wished they did. It hurt like something so permanent that it became inescapable. Sorey's hands adjusted their grip on his best friend's shoulders, so tempted to draw him closer to his chest where the pain originated from.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Rose exclaimed from behind them, her boots scrapping against the dust and debris. 

Sorey turned his head to see her standing beside Mayvin who lay on the stone slabs in repose. The man's eyes were closed and his head rested back against the rock. Rose jostled him and his body unnaturally moved. The old man neither opened his eyes nor grimaced at her behavior. He stayed perfectly still save for the rumblings of movement Rose's ministrations caused. The Storyteller of Time was dead.

They didn't stay long in Lohgrin. There was nothing left for them there.

They traveled quietly towards Pendrago with little said outside necessity. It was hot. Their feet hurt. Desert water tasted like dust. They were words uttered just to stave off the burden that was silence. Silence meant thinking and thinking meant panic. Rose rambled on for miles. Sorey was glad to have her there.

He was even more glad to have Mikleo tucked away inside himself where no one could do him harm--at least he suspected the other seraphim were limited to speech in their interaction. He hated to think it, but he did not trust Mikleo near Rose right now. She was too ready to do all the dirty work for him, too ready to set a course for Camlann and together face the end. He wished, in some ways, he had her resolution. He couldn't look forward to that final confrontation right now. Sorey's vision ended where consideration for Mikleo's life did. His world had become very small again and in this way he did not like it at all.

Pendrago had a warm and comfortable inn, though. There they ate stew and chatted briefly while more important matters went unsaid. The only thing spoken of consequence was an agreement to reserve additional lodgings so that Sorey could be alone, even though 'alone' clearly meant 'with Mikleo' to everyone despite the pretense supplied. There was a sense of longing in Sorey's heart for night to fall. He wanted nothing more than to close a door on the world beyond and exist once more in a place that was just Mikleo and himself. He longed for Elysia and afternoons spent laid out in the soft grass watching the clouds for shapes and patterns, hands almost touching, heads so close their hair mingled in wisps of brown and frost. This wasn't an opportunity to share in a carefree moment, but it would be them, just the two of them, as it had once always been.

Mikleo followed him to the bedroom quietly, being the more pragmatic of them both as he made sure the door was secured behind them. All it took was the sound of the lock sliding into place for Sorey's walls to suddenly break down. He pulled him close in his arms, chest to chest, Sorey's whole body curling inward as tears threatened to grow into sobs. Mikleo held him tight, one hand gently stroking his head while the other held him firm. Again, there wasn't anything to say. They both already knew. This was an expression more telling than any words. Mikleo was content to simply hold him while Sorey remained desperate to be held.

No one understood him like Mikleo. No one else shared his passions and dreams. No one else knew exactly what to say or do the way Mikleo did and yet still managed to be exciting and full of surprise. There was no one else in all the world like Mikleo. Sorey didn't want to lose that--couldn't fathom a world in which he lived and Mikleo didn't. Such a world didn't exist as far as his mind could conceive. Even if not by his side, Mikleo was meant to always be there for him to return to.

This was too cruel. What they were asking him to accept was too extreme to be real. Which was why he couldn't escape the fact that it _was_ real. Because they weren't cruel. They would not offer up such a terrible choice just for the fun of watching him squirm.

His first whimper squeezed past too close to Mikleo's ear to be ignored. The seraph held him tighter, whispering soft sounds of comfort that held no baseless promises that everything would be okay. He wasn't the type to say things just to make one feel better. Mikleo was a problem solver, not a placater. This sucked and Sorey had every right to think so.

Why had they been given to each other in life if this was the path they had to take? Why had they found the perfect companion across the crib if in the end, fate pitted their investments against their lives?

"Why would he do this?" Sorey asked, sniffing back the snot that threatened to soak into Mikleo's clothes. "Why would Gramps raise us together if he knew you had to die?"

"Because before all that, I had to live. Right?"

Sorey sobbed as he shuddered against him.


	3. Chapter 3

He had spent so long holding it in, Sorey remained little more than a sobbing mess dampening Mikleo's shoulder. The seraph held him gently throughout. By the time the heaving became hiccups, they'd found there way onto the bed, foreheads pressed together as they lay facing one another atop the wrinkled bedding. It was a safe place. There was both comfort and security in being so near to one another. Sorey held tight to Mikleo's hand as he focused on taking even breaths. He was glad no one else had seen him this way. He had enough regrets as it was.

"I'm sorry I'm being so selfish," he whispered, wincing at the harshness of words breaking their infinitely more calming silence.

Mikleo exhaled a gentle sigh, his thumb stroking soothingly against Sorey's knuckles. "I don't mind," he said, his own voice kept low and soft. "You do so much for other people. It's okay to be selfish now and then."

Sorey shook his head, pulling their linked hand closer to his chest. "I should be the one comforting you right now," he said. He wasn't the one who found out he'd died in another life--a human life. He wasn't the one who saw himself murdered as a baby by his own family. He wasn't the one who was part of a curse which fated him to die. Sorey was just the one chosen to heal the pain the past Shepherd caused. By all reason, it was Sorey who should be offering comfort to Mikleo. While the seraph's eyes were red, he still refused to cry.

"I'm okay," he promised. "None of that stuff really matters. I'm much more invested in the life I have now. The one I have with you."

But not for long, Sorey's heart reminded him. That life was set to be snuffed out rather then left to expire. "There has to be another way," he protested, feeling the tightness in his chest return. It came in waves, ebbing into stillness and then swelling with a crash that set his breath into stuttering.

Mikleo gave his hand a squeeze, their noses tucked carefully side by side as he pressed in closer, their eyes falling closed in proximity. "Like with Eizen?" he asked, the sore spot having already been exposed. "Sorey... sometimes... sometimes there just isn't."

"I can't do it, Mikleo. It makes me sick just thinking about it."

"That's fine. I'd be more than a little surprised if it came easily to you."

"But it's not okay," Sorey whined, and hated that it came out that way. "I've let everyone down. I've failed as the Shepherd. And I'm only helping Heldalf if I make protecting you my new mission."

Mikleo nodded, nose nuzzling against Sorey's cheek. "Which we know isn't something you can allow. So let's start with the easy bit. We are going to put an end to the Age of Chaos, right? No matter what. You have your answer and you're ready to see it through. You are going to save Heldalf. Let's not linger on the finer points when our main purpose has been defined."

Sorey took a deep breath, holding tight to Mikleo's hand like a life line as he focused on relocating that strength he'd had within. "Right," he said, navigating past the heartache to the embers that had once been the fire of his passion. It was still there, merely untended to by his wavering resolve. If he focused on it, he could feel that conviction still burning strong. He was the Shepherd, even if he didn't feel as up to the task as before. He was the one legends said held the answer. He knew he had the power to win in the end.

"Are you willing to put your life on the line for your answer?" Mikleo asked.

Sorey nodded, no hesitation given in his eager reply. "Yes."

"And you understand that Rose and the rest of us will be putting our lives on the line as well?"

That... that was harder. That was something he understood but found almost impossible to actually accept. That wasn't the question though. Mikleo wasn't asking if he liked the idea, only if he understood it. "Yes," he said quietly, holding back the belief that if he could, he would rather die first in trying to save a friend.

Mikleo swept Sorey's bangs from his face, the warmth of his breath like a soft caress. "Then don't think of it as murder. I will be a casualty of battle, not a sacrifice made solely for the greater good. This is my question to answer and I choose to help you in any way I can, with my life or with my death, to make our dream come true."

A dream of humans and seraphim living together, of harmony and unity and of peace and understanding. 

"In my dream, you were right there beside me," Sorey confessed.

"Of course. That's where I've always been. My dream didn't exactly include you going off without me." Mikleo pulled back slightly, their faces parting enough that there existed more than just shadows between them. With his eyes open, Sorey could see the pinched expression his best friend wore and the weariness of his countenance even as he continued to offer strength. "It's not okay," he said, frowning thoughtfully. "I'm not saying I'm okay with dying. I'm not. But every battle we've ever fought has come with the risk that it will be the last. So that's how I choose to view this now. It's just a fight I have no hope of winning. And I'll go into battle anyway because I know how much it matters in the end. And if you don't mourn me at least five times as much as we mourned for Dezel I'll be very disappointed in you but... well, we kept going after Dezel, right? Because we had to. And it was what he would have wanted. So I know, even if it doesn't seem like it right now, you're strong enough to keep going. And the others will be enough to help you through."

Sorey swallowed hard, his mouth both dry and far too wet. "I can't--"

"You won't," Mikleo interjected, able to quiet easily read his mind. "I will half murder you myself to keep you from taking that responsibility. Same goes for Rose. I am not going to be assassinated like some corrupt human being. Where's the dignity in that? I'd rather the embarrassment of breaking my neck falling down a flight of stairs."

He shouldn't laugh but Sorey couldn't help it, a smile breaking over his features at the thought of an indignant Mikleo rolling down the steps at Ladylake to the complete ignorance of the passerbys. "You're too graceful for that," he whispered jokingly. 

Mikleo smiled too. "Exactly my point. So leave my death to me. It's mine, after all. I should be the one to decide when and how. Although..."

"Yes?"

Mikleo frowned thoughtfully, taking his turn to pull their clasped hands towards himself. "I understand if it's not something you can bear to witness, but... I don't think I'd want to be alone."

"You won't be," Sorey swore with the utmost determination, squeezing hard against the palm in his hand. "I'll be there."

"Then everything will be okay," Mikleo promised, a small smile returning.

Sorey tried but his own smile was a parody at best. "It still doesn't feel okay," he said, though it did in many ways feel less suffocating.

Mikleo squished the tips of their noses together. "Of course not. You're an idiot and you're mourning me already. But... that's okay too. It just means I get to console you myself rather than leave it up to the others. So by the time it happens, you'll already know everything I would want to say to you and how much I believe in your ability to move on. You're strong, Sorey. I know you'll make our dream a reality. So let's not worry about it anymore. You've got so much ahead of you still."

Sorey's smile brightened slightly with the cuteness of his friend's gesture. "Okay," he conceded. "I'll try."

"And it'll get easier. I promise."

Sorey nodded slowly, breaking the clasp of their hands in order to gently cup the side of Mikleo's face and hold him still as he went in for a kiss.

They kissed a lot as children. Kisses on scrapes and kisses goodnight, kisses to say I'm sorry and kisses to say it's alright. The adults were the ones to joke and tell them they were too old for things like that. They stopped doing it where they would be seen but hardly felt a reason to forgo the experience altogether. How could anyone out grow expressions to tell their most cherished person they were loved?

Mikleo tilted his face into the kiss, meeting him half way as their lips joined in a caress of sensitive touch. They wormed closer together, chest to chest, arms and hands embracing the other in a way that put the conversation to an end. One kiss became five, became thirty, became more. It felt good and above all Sorey wanted them to feel good. He wanted to do something pleasant they could share.

The small of Mikleo's back was surprisingly sensitive and Sorey loved to press his fingertips against his skin beneath the hem of his complicated shirt. It made the seraph tremble, moaning into the kiss, arching closer as he tried to move away. Little things like that always seemed to set the pace as Mikleo retaliated with an assault all his own. Sorey happened to be sensitive along his neck and so Mikleo broke their heated kisses to nibble along his flesh. Such was their rivalry. For every moan and gasp one manged to elicit, two more were sought by the other. It was a back and forth exchange of knowledge and application all tested by time and put in practice by virtue. They could work each other up into a dizzying heat through their contest of pleasure without venturing lower than the hem of their pants. Most of the time, they left it at that. Sorey still remembered vividly the first time they didn't. This time felt more like it had then. There was a clawing in his gut that wanted more.

Mikleo was already working on the fastening of Sorey's pants, their passions instinctively linked. Sorey assisted in their removal then moved to take Mikleo's to task, followed by their shirts because at least the seraph remembered how things tended to get messy.

Naked and warm, Sorey rolled them over until Mikleo was above him, his hands free to roam across his back and illicit every surprised and lewd response the seraph was keen to offer. Sometimes he quieted himself in embarrassment but tonight Mikleo whined loudly as he tried to shake free of the feather-light touches that arched his back and set his nipples to hardened peaks while his hips rolled down in sweet consequence. Their erections grazed together, adding another pitch to Mikleo's airy exclamations while Sorey groaned deep and heavy. Mikleo was only too happy to repeat the motion, adding more weight and gyration to increase the stimulation, sliding up his body and sliding back.

Sorey licked his palm and slid it down between them, capturing them both in his hand as he wrapped them firmly in his moistened grip. He stroked them as Mikleo went still, his hands grasping the blankets to either side of Sorey's shoulders while his head hung low with uneven breaths. Giving his hand some slack encouraged Mikleo to thrust; tightening again put himself back in control. Sorey loved to tease him just that little bit more. The back and forth drove Mikleo wild. 

They never lasted long. Without the teasing or breaks to giggle at themselves and the stupid faces and noises they made, sensations built up to a climax almost as soon as they began. Moments like this were a rarity--more now than ever before. There simply wasn't enough time to gain the experience to make it last. Sorey didn't mind though. He doubted Mikleo did either. They found euphoria together at near enough the same time. Sorey didn't even mind the mess on his tummy.

Mikleo all but collapsed on top of him, making it a mess they now both shared in more than just its making alone. He kissed gently at Sorey's neck, his own feather-light touches sending shivers through a body already high on reward and expectation. Sorey wrapped his arms around him. He felt their heartbeats drumming in a syncopated rhythm.

"I love you," he whispered, his lips ghosting beside Mikleo's ear.

The seraph sighed with content and kissed his skin again. "Of course you do, you idiot," he explained. "And you know that I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

Sorey ate a large breakfast in the morning, his appetite mostly returned and the smells of the kitchen more than enough to seduce full hunger in him. The eggs were sloppy with butter and cheese, the meat crispy along the edges, the tomatoes roasted black where they'd touched the pan, all served with a dense roll on the side to soak up the pooling grease. He ate and it felt good to feel full, as though the sensation of fulfilling one need helped balance other things still left empty. He'd had a decent night's sleep. He'd even managed to dream rather than suffer a nightmare. All in all, it was a much better day.

Mikleo sat beside him nibbling fruit rather than partaking in the bubbling feast from the innkeeper's cast iron pan while Edna, Zaveid and Rose dug right in to their own large and steaming portions. Lailah too refrained, sharing glances with Mikleo from across the table as they shared the plate of berries, apple and melon between them. It was a quiet meal but still, somehow, an energetic one. There wasn't the same prevailing melancholy looming over them as Sorey had most recently felt. Maybe it was just him, though. Maybe he'd been both witness and cause. He frowned at his tomatoes as he gently sat his fork down.

"I owe you all an apology," he began, speaking quiet softly. He didn't need to be loud to grab their rapt attention. Even if they were invested in their meal, their eyes never left him for long. He'd worried them. He still worried them. And they were far too concerned not to listen when he spoke. "I reacted poorly to Mayvin's instruction and I.. I can understand if you've lost faith in me. If you don't think I can do this, I'd understand completely if you wanted out. But... I mean to follow through to the end. So... if you'd still have me, we still have a world to save."

Rose was the first to respond, her sullen expression somehow still so alien on her usually bright and cheery face as she tapped the table with her knife. "So you've accepted what it means to say you're going to see it through?"

Sorey nodded firmly. "We have."

"Well, then, let's hurry up and eat! We've still got a lot of walking to do!" Rose smiled wide and dug back in, noisily enjoying her meat as she ripped it from her fork.

It shouldn't have been that easy. Not after the abysmal failure he'd proven to be. But Zaveid nodded with a smile and Edna simply rolled her eyes as if to say _'we're still here, aren't we?'_ , as though not abandoning him before now meant they were there to stay. Sorey couldn't imagine what he'd done to deserve such friends to enrich his life. Under the table, Mikleo gave his hand a squeeze. The morning was definitely a little brighter. Just a little. But it was still enough.

"I suppose we ought to plan our next move," Rose continued after a large swallow. 

"Yes, we mustn't forget that another war will be starting soon," Lilah reminded them, her countenance still grey as her dainty fingers picked at the plump flesh of a blackberry. "Judging by the movement of soldiers in the city, we will need to hurry if we have any hope of stopping things before any more malevolence is formed."

Sorey hummed his agreement, only vaguely remembering the news they'd overheard from the Great Camelot Bridge. "Right. Which means we should probably head to Glaivend Basin. If we're lucky, we may run into Sergei there."

Mikleo frowned, his arms crossing over his chest as he sat back against his chair. "Sergei's just a soldier, though. He has no real sway with the government's standing on war. However, if we could get across to Hyland and speak with Alisha, our chances of solving this diplomatically would be much greater."

"Last time Hyland managed to force Sorey's hand to help then in the war, though," Edna pointed out. "We already know they're the worst kinds of humans. We may be better off staying on the Rolance side of the conflict for now. Although we do know of at least one hellion orchestrating war in Hyland."

"Maltran," Sorey confirmed with remorse.

Zaveid sighed loudly, stretching his arms up high above his head, his muscles flexing as he did. "Sounds like we've got some choices to make on our way to Volgran Forest then."

"Perhaps," Milkeo said, "Though if we go through to Hyland, it's not that much further to travel to Elysia."

Sorey's heart stuttered to a pause at the name of their sacred home, his eyes wandering back to watch Mikleo as he spoke.

"You won't find a higher concentration of seraph anywhere else. Plenty of skilled water seraph as well, all of whom love Sorey. I can't think of a better place to look if we're hoping to find my replacement."

Lailah nodded reluctantly as a quiet fell at the table. That sense of melancholy returned.

Sorey instantly felt every bit as stupid as every joke had ever professed. He wasn't the only one set to lose a friend and the discomfort shown in their bodies and faces proved how difficult this was for them all. Sorey had certainly reacted the worst but even Zaveid, who had only been with them for a short time, looked older and tired at the thought of losing Mikleo in this way. Sorey had felt, at his worst, like there was no one who could understand. He felt even worse for his selfishness, even if he couldn't help feeling a bit of pride that they cared for his most precious person too.

Rose pushed her chair back and stood, her palms heavy against the wood of the table. "Hey, Mikleo? Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" she asked.

Mikleo blinked in surprise but rose as well. "As long as it's just talking," he subtly warned, speaking the words Sorey was wont to say though they felt petty and callous in this throat.

"Right. About that...," Rose nervously began, waiting for Mikleo to round the table for them to walk.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a genuinely sweet smile as the two pulled away to the room's far corner.

Sorey made himself not watch them and focus on the food still on his plate. He trusted Rose. She wouldn't try to kill him again. And even if she did, Mikleo could hold his own.

"Kid seems to be handling it pretty well," Zaveid remarked at length with his elbows propping his chin on the table.

Edna hummed her agreement, plate licked clean, as she relaxed in a contented state. "He may be a naive little Meebo but he's still pragmatic too. He was never the one we needed to worry about."

Sorry frowned. "Even though he's the one who's going to die?"

"It is easier to accept one's own death than it is to be the ones left behind," Lailah all but whispered from her side of the table. And in that moment, Sorey felt sure she'd always known. Since the very beginning. From the moment she first saw them, she knew what would come. Her own remorse was written in her everything but Sorey did his best not to stare. It would be wrong to assume it was malicious in any way. She had her oath. And at the very least, she had fought to keep Mikleo there. He owed her that much, at least. When all was said and done, she always did her best to be kind.

Rose returned to the table rubbing at her eyes, her smile forced but still bright. "Alright, enough of that," she counseled herself. "We'd better get a move on, right?"

Sorey nodded, looking past her towards Mikleo who looked uncomfortable at best. He knew him well enough to know the cause was embarrassment more than anything. Mikleo wasn't the kind of person who especially enjoyed being the center of attention. Not like this, certainly. He made a face at Sorey, taking his time as he slowly walked back. It was a shame he was probably going to have to get used to it. Sorey doubted Rose was going to be the last of their friends who wanted to pull him aside for a quiet word.

"So, we thinking Hyland after all?" Zaveid asked as the group left the table, slinging an arm around Mikleo's shoulders as soon as he drew near.

"A Shepherds duty is to purify hellions," Sorey proclaimed as his best excuse. "And there's only one place right now where we know a hellion is actively pulling the strings."

A place where a friend needed his help and a war might be avoided. A place close to home where Gramps was waiting; where a new seraph could be found and proper goodbyes would be said. A place where answers were waiting as to why so many secrets had been kept. It was a matter of birds and stones in the end.

Sorey paid for their food and they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blah blah blah blah boring connecting chapter


	5. Chapter 5

The weeks that passed felt normal. It was so easy to forget anything dreadful awaited when the adventure required so many stops, twists and turns. Lastonbell, Glaievend Basin, back to Pendrago and onwards to Ladylake. Everything seemed to be content to happen all at once. Sorey was far too busy to think. Only at night did his thoughts find dread, though such nights were few and far between. Most nights he was exhausted and fell asleep no sooner than they agreed to settle down. On nights when he couldn't, though, he spent the hours staring at the moon.

In his childhood, a great many nights were spent laying in the grass and looking up at the sky. Day or night, clouds or stars, he and Mikleo had observed the heavens as they did all things written about but unexplored. It was usually a peaceful sight sure to lull him into slumber. When all he could think about was Mikleo, though, such shared past times were less than soothing. 

"You're thinking too much," Mikleo's voice echoed from inside him. "Close your eyes if you want to fall asleep."

Sorey let out a long sigh and let his head rest back against the tree. His voice surely wasn't going to help move his thoughts on from distant memories. Still, he closed his eyes and tried to obey. Sleep was still so much easier said than done.

He heard the whooshing sound and felt the flashing of a light before the weight of a body next to his made him smile instinctively. He moved his arm around him, rewarded by a head coming to rest on his shoulder. He peaked his eyes open and looked down at the swirl of frost-colored hair and the hand laying gently on his chest. His own arm tightened around him as Mikleo shifted to get comfortable. This was a much better way to calm restless thoughts. Sorey rested his cheek on his head, breathing in deep the sugary-sweet smell of his friend. "Is everyone else already asleep in there?"

"I think so," Mikleo said, taking a deep, soothing breath. "If not, they're at least considerate enough to mind their own business."

Sorey nodded, the hair under his cheek brushing softly against his skin. "Have I ever told you how weird it is to hear you in my head but not see you standing beside me?"

"You think that's weird? I spend most of the day _inside you_. It's not exactly the view of the world I expected to see."

Sorey couldn't help but chuckle at that. Nothing about their excursion from Elysia felt like how he'd expected it to be. He never expected to be someone important. He never dreamed this would be his reality. His dreams had been big but his expectations had been small: live a life with Mikleo that someday took them out into the ruins of the world. In a way, he got that and in the only way they could have. The malevolence in such places surely would have harmed Mikleo had he not shared him as a vessel. Sorey kept him safe. Being the Shepherd gave them part of their dream. Sorey had been trying very much in the past weeks to look only at the blessings this path had brought him. He was grateful to it. He truly was. But still some things were hard to swallow.

"After we try and stop this war, it'll be time to start thinking about Heldalf again," Sorey said, giving another focus to the worry in his head.

Mikleo hummed. "We'll go to Elysia soon then, right?"

"Yeah. Next stop after Glaievend Basin," he agreed, though there were many things he dreaded waiting there. So long as they hadn't replaced Mikleo, he felt confident there time wasn't up. That was shortly to be addressed, though. As were questions that haunted him. Sorey took a deep breath and tried to let it all slide. "I bet Gramps will be happy to see us," he remarked instead, rubbing his hand down Mikleo's arm.

"I'm sure he'll have a lot to say as well."

Sorey nodded, though that remained part of what he was trying to ignore. Lailah had almost surely known Mikleo's fate from the very start, which meant Zenrus had known and had said nothing their whole lives. He wasn't angry but he still longed for the words that had gone unsaid. He didn't like how many secrets had been kept by his family. But it was their home. Those were the people who loved them indiscriminately. Elysia would always be a place they both could return to. And in that way, some things only seemed too right. "Is that where... I mean... do you want..." Sorey struggled not to find the words he wanted, but for the strength to say them without sounding weak. "Do you want to be buried in Elysia?" he settled on, feeling as though the implications still came through.

"Only if that's where I happen to die," Mikleo replied, well versed in the subtleties of speech between them. "I don't care to be dragged around needlessly. Bury me where I fall. You'll have much more important things to worry about."

While it was much easier to digest than any concrete plans to die at home, it still left Sorey feeling bleak. "You have to be put somewhere, though. For me. I need a place I can visit."

Mikleo seemed to pause at that, then hummed with consideration, his hand gently stroking over the cloak above Sorey's heart. "Pretend I'm buried on the moon, then. That way I'm with you no matter where you travel."

Only Mikleo could manage to be both romantic and steadfastly practical. Sorey kissed his head and squeezed him tight.

The moon wasn't particularly stunning that night but it was bright none the less and beautiful. The stars he remembered looking up at when he was much younger were all there looking back on them as well. Some things didn't change. He and Mikleo had mapped most of the constellations, confused by their disappearances in the winter or summer months. They were interesting lessons on how things could still be there even outside of one's sight. Like with seraphim and the eyes of men. So much related to the concept of existence not being limited to what could be seen.

"How will you defeat Heldalf?" Mikleo asked, his voice stirring up from the quiet.

It was a very good question, and one Sorey had been considering. Of all his options, he kept coming back to one. "Once the curse is lifted and he's no longer bound to Maotelus, it'll be a matter of doing what I can to end his life. The real trouble will be what comes after: the purifying of Maotelus himself."

Mikleo cuddled closer. "He's most likely a dragon by now."

"I know. But even so, I have to believe there's a way to cleanse him and this world." Once a dragon, forever a dragon, though. But killing Maotelus would be more than any Shepherd could handle. "If I make myself a vessel for Maotelus, I can close off my senses and expand my resonance over all of Glenwood, hopefully allowing Maotelus to be purified as the land itself is cleansed. Remember those memories with all those Shepherds and Squires? If this works, that shared resonance may be enough to increase the numbers again as well. So I won't be working alone and just maybe we'll be able to bring him back."

"Without your senses, you'd be asleep," Mikleo pointed out. "For years, probably. Decades even. Centuries."

Sorey nodded, though of all his worries, such a future was far from being any of them. "Not to sound too melodramatic or anything but I don't think I'd mind a long nap after you're gone. It might take me just as long to get over you, you know. If I ever do."

"Well, apparently my spirit has a direct line to Maotelus. If I happen to see him, I'll make sure to put in a good word for you."

Chuckling softly, Sorey kissed his head. Was it really okay to be able to laugh at such devastating things? He supposed one had to. The only other option was to choose to remain unhappy and angry forever. Even so, every darkly humorous thing said aloud sent a pang directly to his heart. "I worry I'm not being grateful enough," he whispered. "It's been weeks and you're still here and I feel like I haven't been making the most of that."

Mikleo sighed. "What does that even mean?" he asked, punching him gently in the chest. "You see me every day. We talk every day. We haven't been apart for more than a few minutes and that's only because everyone seems to want to pull me aside for their turn to have a private little chat."

"Which reminds me: what was it Zaveid said to make your face turn red like that?" Sorey could not let his chance to ask escape this time, having lost out before to Mikleo's furious blush and immediate retreat.

"That pervert said he'd find me a woman in the next town! He said it'd be a shame if I missed out on the finer points of adulthood!"

Sorey couldn't help but laugh, especially given Mikleo's outrage. "And what finer points, exactly, does he think you're missing out on?"

Mikleo's voice turned sly, his tone far more sultry than before. "Points like the ones we made at the Gilione Inn."

It was Sorey's turn to blush though the warmth in his face felt good against the night air. He sat up gently, not enough to dislodge Mikleo's head from his shoulder completely but enough to get a good look at him. He was beautiful. He'd always been beautiful but it would have been a disservice to stop noticing. He ran his fingers over his cheek, relishing the smoothness of his skin, as he bent low to kiss his perfect lips in memory of past delights.

"Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hey, now, this is public property, boys. Let's keep it under wraps with the ladies present, capiche?"

"Zaveid, you are such a buzzkill," Edna complained.

Lailah agreed. "Aw, but they were being so cute!"

Sorey stared straight ahead at equally wide and disbelieving eyes, the pair of them both nearly frozen as the echoing voices spoke up.

"I thought you guys said you were going to sleep!" Mikleo nearly shouted, pushing Sorey away at arms length.

"I decided it would be a better use of my time to observe the mating rituals of the rare and skittish Meebo. It's pretty much exactly how I pictured it would be. I'd give it a sixty-five."

"Edna, you should never rate a man lower than sixty-nine."

"And here I thought you'd said you wouldn't be watching."

"I wasn't! I'm not! I'm just supporting my boys here and making sure you two don't compromise your delicate sensibilities."

"Like I said. Buzzkill."

Sorey laughed nervously as they went on. Well, their feelings hadn't exactly been a secret and certainly there was little room to expect privacy but...

"This is it. This is how I die," Mikleo lamented with his face concealed in his palms.

Sorey took his wrists and tried to get him to show his face, leaning in close yet again to ease his shame. "It's not that bad," he promised with a smile, kissing his hands once he'd pulled them free.

Mikleo scowled. "You're not the one who has to go back in there with them!"

Which was true. But it wasn't as though Sorey got a free pass towards not being teased. He kissed his cheek, not letting the others dissuade him from showing his love. He held his hands and kept him close. "Not tonight, though," he whispered. "Stay right here tonight. Okay?"

Now more sulking rather than sultry, Mikleo pitifully nodded his head. He crawled up close and Sorey wrapped himself around him. From her side of the tree, Rose went back to pretending to snore.


	6. Chapter 6

A dragon. There was a dragon. 

It all came down to this.

There wasn't time to do much other than run headfirst into danger. No one else could stand against it. No humans or seraph alone could hope to conquer the looming threat of devastation. It was a dragon, a hellion, and there was only one thing which could claim victory. More than almost any conflict before, for resolution they needed a Shepherd.

Sorey didn't think twice. He ran up the barren cliffs and over broken hills. He saw the behemoth standing there among the armored bodies squashed and torn before it and did not stutter in his steps. There was no choice. This was what his powers were for. With barely a word, he and Rose leapt into the fray. 

He'd never fought anything like it before. Dragons had earned every morsel of terror written about them, their ferocity living up to the tales. Whomever it was who had become the beast was nothing more now than a walking colossus of power. The blows they exchanged were devastating, driving Sorey back to regroup and focus in. They were going to win, they'd decided outright. But the battle was a misery to be won.

"Break the pact, Lailah! They need help!" Mikleo shouted as Sorey quickly switched over to the wind armatus, hoping to smash their foe with an Earth Revolution having smashed at is relentlessly with his sword.

Lailah's reply was full of worry, her attention immediately drawn. "Mikleo, you can't fight a dragon without my powers of purification. If you are no longer my sub-lord, you will be useless in this fight."

"I might not be able to help fight, but I can make sure Sorey and Rose can last to the end! They need someone to run support! I can heal them; I can cure their ailments. I can make sure their focus stays on the dragon!"

Sorey faltered as he held back, knowing only too well the risks he would be taking. "I need the water armatus!" he argued, grasping at anything he could.

"It's resistant to water!" Mikleo replied without pause. "You know I'd be more use to you outside!"

He would be. It would be a great relief to have someone running support while the battle took everything he and Rose had just to push on. They needed the armatus though it dropped their numbers down to two. But he couldn't keep Mikleo safe on the outside. He couldn't keep him from malevolence or the claws of a dragon. On the outside there were so many dangers to be exposed to. As a sub-lord, death was an option. Outside that pact, it felt immanent.

That was it, though, wasn't it? A death worthy of dying?

"You're free," Lailah sadly announced.

In an instant, Mikleo was stood at his side.

There just wasn't time.

Mikleo grasped at his chest in pain at the malevolence in the same motion as he sent healing waters towards Rose. Sorey charged ahead into battle. They'd all die if this didn't come to a close. The best way to protect Mikleo was to destroy the dragon there and now.

It was a long battle. It was a hard one. More times than he cared to count, Mikleo was assisting him, tending artfully to his wounds while Sorey carried on with the fight. It was refreshing to be able to focus solely on attacks while other needs were promised to be cared for. Mikleo chased after them right through the heat of battle, doing his best to be sure they too could do their best. And in that way he fell.

The dragon thought nothing of them. They were harmful pests flying about it but they were indiscriminate in their appeal. Ducking low, it swiped the air with a flash of its wing. Mikleo was standing, and then Mikleo was flying. He hit the cliff side and moved no more.

It took everything in Sorey not to abandon the fight and run to him. It took everything to not only stay the course but to not harbor resentment towards the beast. It was a seraph. It had no control over what it was doing. He was going to save it--not punish it--in light of the deeds it had done. He owed it to everyone to remember what was most important and not allow darkness to take root in himself. And by some miracle, they managed it. He took his first life with a conscious that understood.

Hyland and Rolance both roared in shared celebration, the dragon conquered and their war forgotten in the squall. There were thousands of voices raised in jubilation and victory. Sorey ignored them all as he charged towards the motionless lump against the dusty land. The others held back slightly, Rose making sure the armies gave him plenty of space. They couldn't see what it was he was running towards. They saw emptiness where Sorey felt defeat. He carefully but quickly slid to his knees and gathered him up, holding Mikleo close as he felt at his throat, his own breath trembling audibly.

"Mikleo?!" he cried out as he stared at the dirty face with the lavender eyes closed shut.

There was a pulse under his fingertips; even some small amount of breathing. Sorey whined in relief as he grabbed for his bag. Gel--he needed gel! This was the perfect time to try that elixir! He rummaged with one hand while the other held Mikleo tight, almost certain he was hurting him but too scared to let go.

"Sorey," Lailah spoke, coming to kneel at his other side. "I think you should probably put those things away..."

Sorey shook his head, wondering how hard locating one elixir could be, as he continued to hunt for it blind.

Lailah's hand came to rest on his, biding it to stop. But he knew what she'd say. He knew exactly what she wanted. This just wasn't the time for it.

"He's not dead," Sorey explained to her.

"Not yet," she said regretfully. "But for someone fated to die, what better death could be asked for than one given so selflessly? He died aiding you as you valiantly fought a dragon. Let's allow him that story and legacy."

Sorey shook his head as he looked up towards the others. They all looked sad but none argued her point.

"But he's not _dead_ ," Sorey insisted, his whole body aching and screaming for rest. Nothing hurt more than his heart did, though. 

"Without help, it won't take long," Lailah said, moving Sorey's hand from his pack to better hold Mikleo. "You can see by his face that he isn't conscious enough to feel pain. It's okay. He chose for it to be this way."

He may have chosen it, but Sorey hadn't give his consent. He never said it was okay to leave him behind without the benefit of a last goodbye. His arms cradled him easily, though; holding him tightly to his chest. It didn't matter that his audience could not see the precious bundle he held. For the most part they had all faded away. 

Rose came to stand close but did not move to sit beside him. She kept her distance even as her voice encroached. "Sorey... there's some ruins not far from here. Seems kind of appropriate and.. well, it'll be more private in there."

Sorey nodded dumbly, standing easily with Mikleo in his arms. Sore as his body felt and tired as he was, he hardly noticed a bit of it when compared to the loss facing him now. Mikleo wasn't dead yet and he needn't die as well. Not yet. And Sorey had everything they needed to pull him through. It hurt so much to withhold that manner of care.

But if not slain by a dragon, what would it be? Suicide at home in Elysia? A long drop off the mountain to the rocks below? Lailah was right--this death, at least had meaning. Though he was still loath to grant him it at all.

They walked slowly to the ruins, leaving the armies far behind them. Inside there were slimeroots everywhere but they were nothing compared to the dragon they'd fought. It took little time at all to create a safe space where they could all sit and rest and wait for the inevitable. They gave him space as they all settled in.

It was the first time ruins held no appeal for him. Sorey slid down a far wall, the smooth stone at his back, his eyes not caring to linger on the architecture or historical clues. No one else cared about them. No one could argue their context and appreciate their significance. Just another dusty old relic full of rows of sarcophagi. He'd seen enough death for one day.

Sorey held Mikleo close to his chest, their faces touching as he spoke to him in gentle whispers not meant to be shared. "You're not alone," he told him, doing his best not to squeeze too tight. "I'm right here. You're asleep in my arms." He'd either know or in the end it wouldn't matter. It mattered to Sorey, though, so he still tried.

It took hours--or at least if felt like it did. Sorey wanted so much to curl up and sleep but there was nothing that would take him away from that moment. He was acutely aware when the soft breathing changed to something more akin to a struggle, the last breaths taken in shuddering urgency. And they stopped, and Mikleo seemed even more still. The world felt much quieter and larger than before.

Sorey didn't know what to do. He was exhausted, he was holding a dead body, and it was more than his heart and mind combined could conceive of. Did he just lay down now? Did he go to sleep with his empty shell in his arms? Was he supposed to put him down somewhere to wait until his own rest was done? And from there what? What was he supposed to do with him now? Sorey didn't even have the mindfulness to cry yet. He felt numb. Nothing made sense. Nothing felt right.

"Sorey?" Rose called from across the room, his name holding questions in its sound.

He nodded mutely, unable to find his own voice. Whatever she was asking, the answer was yes.

Zaveid pushed off from the wall and approached them, kneeling down with one hand to Sorey's head. "I'll take him," he said, his words frightening but comforting too. Sorey needed someone to tell him what to do, someone to explain how transition himself from the point of holding on to letting go. It was impossibly hard to let him, but he watched without complaint as Zaveid lifted him from his arms. Mikleo looked blue and grey and unnatural as he was pulled away. Sorey stared, his empty hands flexing against the loss of their tireless burden. He watched after them as Zaveid left the room.

"Sleep, Sorey," Lailah instructed. Edna was once again hidden from sighed behind her umbrella.

Sorey nodded once more, slowly laying back against the ground. Sleep swallowed him whole with his misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May have listened to [Gackt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOe7nJwK9sc) for a bit...


	7. Chapter 7

It was three days later when Sorey finally woke up. His body was rejuvenated but his inside felt hollow. His stomach was empty but seemed to be filled with spoiled eggs and his head still hung tightly to its fog. He hadn't dreamed but still found the waking world to be a mystery, his thoughts scattered and uncertain as though viewed from a cracked lens. All he knew, even before reason returned, was that he didn't want to be awake. There was something waiting for him here worth avoiding.

At least memory wasn't as crushing as he thought it'd be. Remembering the weight of him as he watched him slowly die was distant and detached from himself. It just left him numb, vacantly staring at the ceiling above. Mikleo was dead and, at best, Sorey just felt tired. His heart wasn't in it to start a new day. It wasn't in it to do much of anything.

There would be no point if he did nothing, though. He'd have had no reason to let his best friend die if he intended to do nothing at all in its wake. He could not let it be in vain. So Sorey sat up and rummaged through his pack for food. He'd need to eat if only to regain some energy.

The others were there but none of them spoke to him. Not at first. If they caught his eye they offered small smiles or purposeful frowns of acknowledgement, but words were loud and unnecessary. Sorey was grateful no one felt the need to ask him how he was doing. He didn't have words to describe the pain and it wasn't as though they expected this to be a subtle blow. He'd lost someone who had been part of the foundation of his very being. Like a building missing its corner stone, Sorey felt unsteady and at the brink of collapse. 'Felt like' wasn't the same as 'certainly would', though. He couldn't afford to fall apart. Too much was counting on him to pull through. 

Don't assign guilt or hate, he reminded himself. And it would only be too easy to do so. It would be the easiest thing in the world to let remorse color him in bitterness and anger, tainting him to cross purposes and making everything for naught. It was tempting beyond measure to give up and fade away, believing someone else capable of finishing the job after all he'd sacrificed. He could not allow himself to give up out of sadness. Mikleo would never forgive him. What Mikleo believed would matter most.

So he ate and he got up. He washed his face and rubbed his lingering wounds with apple gel. He packed his things and waited to leave with the others and did it all without conscious thought. He hesitated to ask Zaveid where he'd taken the body but thought better of it in the end. Mikleo'd been dead three days; it wasn't something he needed to see. He could guess well enough what Zaveid had done with him anyway. This was a tomb after all.

"Let's go," he said as he shouldered his bag, his feet heavy beyond measure as he dragged them over the smooth floor towards the door.

Lailah parted her lips to perhaps say something, but thought better of it and gave s quiet nod. In a flash, she and the remaining seraphim were back inside him. Rose frowned but didn't argue straight away. 

The armies had parted from the basin. The dirt was stained in blood and scuffed from armor and boots but the bodies at least had been retrieved. Sorey took out his map, having lost his sense of direction completely. They needed to head towards the Hyland camp, wherever that happened to be.

"So, where're we headed?" Rose asked, kicking up dust with the heel of her own boots.

"Elysia," Sorey quietly answered. "I need to ask Kyme if he'll continue the fight against Helfalf with me." He had no doubt he would, especially given recent events. They were family. He'd helped keep so many secrets from him. He'd lost something of a son. This was just as personal to him too; to all of them on the mountain top.

Rose hummed thoughtfully as she started to walk. She knew the way, it seemed. Sorey followed her. "Think the seraphs will mind if we stay a while? Being with family right now would probably do you some good."

Sorey shook his head, slowly starting to recognize the different rock faces as they indeed marched towards his desired destination. "We shouldn't stay long," he advised, wishing his voice didn't sound quite so toneless. "The sooner we find Camlann, the sooner we can end this. We should keep our focus on that instead."

"Yeah, but... can you really do your best if you're still in shock? I mean, what happens when it finally hits you and we're right in the middle of some life or death mess?"

"Don't worry about it," Sorey said, then thought better about his reply. He scratched lightly at the back of his neck and sighed heavily as he looked down at his feet below. "No. I guess what I mean to say is that... that sort of thing won't stop me. If we're fighting and I turn and its Kyme there instead of Mikleo, I'm not going to lose my ability to focus or to fight. If anything, it'll keep me going. Because I can empathize with Heldalf now. I used to think it was a terribly sad thing live alone while your loved ones died around you. Now I know. I know in a way I don't wish anyone else to ever know. And I can't sit back and deal with my sadness until I've saved him from his."

Rose put a hand to his shoulder, giving the muscle there a gentle squeeze. "Tragedy makes some men monsters. For people like you, it just makes them more kind."

"I'd much rather be kind without the excuses, honestly."

"I know," she said, and left it at that.

The armies in the camp kept a respectful distance while still cheering the Shepherd on as they walked. Patrols did the same, all of them watching gratefully as their savior passed through their lands. It was days of joyful people speaking their thanks and waving them on. Sorey made sure to smile back if only to inspire hope and their belief in him and the seraphim. Nothing stopped being important just because he didn't feel like it. Someone seeing a depressed Shepherd might tell others their hero was unwell. His was a job that required he always do his best. And Mikleo would tease him if he saw his making a sour face. Or make him ice cream. Probably both.

They rested in Ladylake before making the final push to Elysia through the woods. Word was that Alisha was in talks for peace in Rolance at the time. It was good to know humans were doing their best. The world kept moving, lives kept on being lived even when Sorey's heart said it had all stopped. The world never stopped. New days always came and went. They ate together at the inn's large table and prepared for the rest of the night.

"Would you like us to give you time alone?" Lailah asked, her continued concern for him having never faltered since Lohgrin.

Sorey shook his head, pushing his potatoes around, as he quietly considered his food.

"You sure?" Rose questioned, their teaming up on him perhaps a little justified. "I know you're strong, but I don't want you thinking you have to be all the time. If it's easier to manage alone, we'll understand."

Sorey shook his head again, his answer unchanged despite the rise in reinforcements. Yes, it was hard, but not so hard he was constantly holding it all in. In front of strangers, maybe, but not in front of them. With the similarities, he could understand the worry, but alone was not something he wanted to be. "I think I somehow did it all in reverse," he explained, pressing peas into a line. "I was so scared of what it would be like, I got all my tears and worries out before it ever happened. And now that it has happened... I don't know. It feels less real than the fear that came before it? I mean, I know it's real. I know he's... but... it still feels like a Tuesday. And tomorrow's still going to be Wednesday. And it's just more things I can't really change."

Lailah smiled sadly as she observed him quietly, a cup of warm tea held steaming in her hands. "Zenrus will be very proud of you," she said, her own pride humbly added to the claim.

Sorey frowned all the more, though, and let his fork rest against the plate. He knew she meant well, but it didn't sit right. "I don't want him to be proud of this. I don't want people to be glad I'm managing to hold myself together. I don't want to be seen to live above an expectation of complete devastation. I'm just doing what I have to do. I think that's the least anyone can ever expect regardless of the situation."

The table went quiet with his rare words of cynicism. But there was no malevolence in his heart.

"Do you still have a lot of questions for him?" Lailah asked, both a keeper of secrets and a vessel for others'.

Sorey again shook his head, each pass slow but short. Not even his hair was disturbed by the gentle shake. "I thought I did, but... no. I don't. There isn't anything about my childhood I would want to change or that I think put me at a disadvantage when it comes to the things that have passed. I thought, maybe, he could have prepared me a little more for death, but I think he probably felt my love of ruins and lore had taught me everything I needed to know. Lives are impermanent but the impact of a life can achieve immortality," he said, quoting things from books never written in the style of his departed friend. "Mikleo's dead but our success will be part of his legacy. His life helped bring about great changes. None of that died just because he did."

He must have said something right. At the very least, he'd said something that struck home. Zaveid tipped his hat over his eyes while Lailah's shined with unshed tears. Rose's face looked angry as she tried not to cry.

"I know you said it wasn't what you wanted," Lailah spoke, "but Zenrus will indeed be very proud of you. For many reasons."

"I think, most of all, Gramps will be a little sad Mikleo didn't make it home to visit one last time," Sorey proclaimed, then pushed his chair back from the table. "I'm not so hungry. I'm going to lie down. Join me when you want. Like I said, I honestly don't need my space right now. Okay?"

They nodded and Sorey walked away from the table feeling sure he wouldn't see them until morning anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

Aroundight Forest and the lack of Zenrus's blessing were a strong kick to Sorey's gut. Bodies of soldier's and a knowledge that someone had launched an attack were more than enough to spark real feeling in him again. He counted footsteps needed to be home more so than battles fought. He raced as fast as he possibly could while downed trees and hellions barred his path. He needed Elysia to be alright. He needed one thing in his world to still be standing. The city was empty, though--empty save for the bodies of soldier's on the ground. Not seraphim, though, just crumpled human corpses. He ran to his Gramps' home and tried to throw open the door.

They were okay. They were all there. Everyone but Zenrus who had gone on to fight. Kyme was reluctant but willing to make the pact and follow Sorey to aid him. He had all four powers once more. He still felt empty.

Seeing Muse... Sorey knew he was staring but Mikleo really did look so much like his mother. Her words spoke of hope for the children Zenrus had raised and he hadn't the breath in him to speak and tell her what became of them. She'd outlived her son twice now. Sorey was the shepherd she was hoping for. He watched her give up her life for the sake of their battle. Her family had a rather bad habit of that.

It felt like blow after blow was bludgeoning him from behind his aching rib cage as the walked. No sign of Gramps, echoes from the past, a deep sorrow still clawing upwards from his gut. Perhaps he had rushed things, but he couldn't abandon the man who raised him now nor ever. There was no going back. This was the path he'd chosen. And in its cumulation there would be victory or death.

Somehow, he's forgotten about Symonne.

The first time he saw Mikleo, it was as a seafoam flash just out of sight. He ignored it. He kept going. He told himself it wasn't real. But he'd appear again, almost crystal clear in his details before swiftly melting away when Sorey turned his head to look. He never saw him long enough to be sure but he always recognized the specter. He was being haunted by his memory. Sorey hoped he wasn't the only one seeing it.

But then there he was, standing in full view, blocking their way through the ruin. He looked dirty and banged up, just as he had at the end of the dragon's fight. The only difference was that he was still standing.

Sorey stopped in his tracks as his heart took to a new rhythm, his eyes wide in sudden horror and shock. Had he not been dead when they'd abandoned him in the tomb? Had he left his friend to suffer alone rather than rest in peace? Mikleo winced as he took a step forward, a small smile pinching across his face. "I knew I'd find you," he said with effort straining his pained voice.

Sorey's breath caught in his throat as he tried to come close.

Rose attacked him before he could. Her twin short swords clashed against his staff as even weakened, Mikleo was still primed for a fight. "What are you doing!" Mikleo questioned, shock registering across his face. Rose was trying to kill him again, despite what was said. Sorey gasped as he grabbed for his own sword.

"Sorey!" Lailah shouted. "That's not Mikleo!"

But it was! Certainly she could see it too!

Zaveid grabbed him tight around the arm while Edna's umbrella blocked the fight from his sight. It birthed a panic in Sorey that had him fighting against their efforts as his friend's voice continued to call for him.

"Sorey, help!" Mikleo begged to the percussion of more blocked blows and blades. But he couldn't see. They wouldn't let him see. And Rose was going to finish him off this time.

"They don't know," Edna surmised, herself watching what Sorey could not see. "They don't think we'd have reason to accept Meebo's death as more than just a tragedy."

Sorey stared at her umbrella, his mouth wide with panting breaths, as it clicked in his mind that it was the truth which she spoke. It wasn't Mikleo. Even if they had somehow left him behind alive, he would never have followed them to the end of the road when it meant they'd have to watch him die again. That wasn't Mikleo. It was an illusion. It was a sick phantom of trickery. It made Sorey furious but he swallowed it down.

Symonne was behind it. This was all a game to lead him to malevolence. It was far too cruel but still just her style.

"Of course. They know the effect but not the cause. I doubt Heldalf is aware Mikleo has compromised his immortality," Lailah said, standing beside Kyme as they observed Rose's victory. 

Mikleo's death screams were harrowing and unlike anything Sorey had heard before. But they weren't real, he tried to remind himself. None of this was real. It was all pretend.

As they moved on, Symonne did not let up. By the time they left her crying on the floor, Sorey had watched Mikleo die at least three times, none of which any of his companions allowed to be at his own hand. It was just an illusion, but it was still too hard to accept and too fresh to ignore. He pitied a seraph so lacking in self worth that she felt no remorse in hurting others. She expected pain; life was pain and in pain there was amusement. With so little love in her life, not even love for herself, Sorey could not hate her even now. She had never known the joys of life that friendship and lovers could bring. She tried to tear his to shreds because she did not know their worth. She was a pitiable creature indeed.

By the time he stood before Heldalf once more, it seemed like ages had passed since they'd started. He still hadn't found Zenrus. He'd fought several powerful hellions. His feet were tired. His heart hurt like frozen lead. But he'd made it there and with no malevolence to speak of. Heldalf's hopes for a dark companion were gone. But the Lord of Calamity was a dark force indeed, with a surprise in the palm of his hand.

Zenrus. Gramps.

Kyme was only too happy to be of assistance, challenging Heldalf united for the love of a good man. Sorey wondered if hearts ever got so tired of hurting that they just stopped from being overwhelmed.

Still he did not fall to malevolence. He'd been raised so much better than that.

When all was said and done, he too broke his pact. The Lord of Calamity was just a broken man; he no longer needed purification to save him. Rose was angry but the others understood. They held her back, silently wishing him well. And in the depths of the throne, his sword in hand, Sorey ran the blade through Heldalf cleanly. He wouldn't suffer--his suffering was now over. Sorey would be hated for such kindness but it was alright.

Beyond the body of a desperate tyrant, Sorey was found by the dragon waiting inside. Despite appearances, Maotelus looked more like a golden deity rather than a corrupted monster as all other mindless dragons appeared. Scales and pointed snouts had never seemed more beautiful. Sorey touched him with his hand and felt a sense of awe inside. This was the seraph who took the land as his vessel, who's blessing covered the whole continent and was revered above the other lords. This was a seraph's whose power was legendary. And together, they could make his dream complete.

The dream he and Mikleo shared but together would never see.

Sorey fell to his knees in front of Maotelus, holding on to the bony spike of his nose as tears finally found their way through the numbing fog. They'd done it. They'd really, finally done it. And winning had never hurt so much given the cost. It would make it so much easier to sleep knowing there was nothing he was leaving behind that would miss him too greatly. Everyone he'd deeply loved had gone before him and so it was a kindness that no one would be left to wait. It could take years, Mikleo had said. Decades. Centuries. How lucky to be the last one alive when another sweet escape was one's destiny.

He was going to increase resonance over the whole of the land.

He was going to bring the races together.

Arms closed around his shoulders, a soft voice speaking to him in a warming whisper. "It's okay," it said. "You did so well. It's okay to cry. In fact, I told him you probably would."

Sorey's eyes went wide as he turned his face, finding Mikleo embracing him from behind.

Unlike the illusions, this version looked healthy and perfect, his body surrounded in the same golden light as Maotelus's own body shone. "I told you I'd put a good word in for you," he said. And he had. All those nights ago.

Sorey threw his arms around him with a cry caught between a desperate sob and pure joy. He felt like Mikleo--not broken but whole; he even smelled like his friend. Like sweet vanilla and sugar, like ice-cream and frozen treats. Mikleo's arms held him tight, like given enough pressure their two bodies could become one. It was everything about being with his friend that Sorey remembered. It was the most wonderful surprise he'd ever known.

"Maotelus thought you might like to share another dream with me," Mikleo whispered into his ear, the feel of his breath causing Sorey to flinch and giggle as it tickled past.

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do," Sorey celebrated with a more meaningful laugh and an interrupting kiss. He even kissed the same: first self-conscious then self-assured. He held no doubts this was his Mikleo.

Whatever the lord's power, Sorey believed in a dream they could share. Even if such things couldn't happen, the belief in it gave him bliss unimaginable. If in the end all Maotelus could give him was this body to hold during their ageless sleep, Sorey would be truly satisfied. There was nothing he wanted more than what was once again there with him.

Together they would sleep and inspire the land with faith and joyous love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that' a wrap. My anime/cartoon tumblr is [nikoshinigami](http://nikoshinigami.tumblr.com/). Hit me up with some prompts and I might fulfill a few as I have no ideas currently concerning other fics.


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